The Poopsie Collective

Orchestrating Family Memories

Written by BROOKE 

Making memories…

What makes a family memory? What are the things my kids will remember 20 years from now? Do they happen spontaneously? Are memories just “made”? Or as parents, is it our job to “orchestrate” them?

I think it’s a mixture of both. I think that some memories happen spontaneously. I can still remember dragging my baby sister around the house in an empty box while she laughed so hard that she couldn’t stop. I remember sliding down our stairs on pillows and climbing up the door jams in our rooms when we were supposed to be asleep. I hope that my boys remember giggling so much at night that we have to come up three or four times to tell them to go to bed. I hope they remember the living room dance parties and singing songs in the car. 

But I have been feeling lately the need for more. I’ve been feeling like my strong desire for my kids to like each other and end up friends depends a lot on them spending time together in a fun way, not in a “waiting to hang out with my friends” way. We are the only members of either side of our families who live in California. That means that when we “vacation” it usually involves trips with family or trips to see family. Which is great, we are lucky to get along well with all of our siblings and our kids love their cousins so family time really is a treat. But what about real vacations? You know, the kind we did as kids where you are stuck with no one but your siblings and parents for hours on end and you ended up having to play together because there was no one else to play with? I felt like we were missing out on those types of trips. 

So I decided it was time to orchestrate some family memories. I decided that, no matter how budget conscious it needed to be, we were going to go on a family vacation with just our little family every year. Last weekend, we packed up the car, the hubs and I each took a day off work and we headed only two hours away for a long weekend in Palm Springs. Was it extravagant? No. Was it fun? Yes. Did we fight (all four of us)? A little. But I think the good times outweighed the bad. 

I think I learned a few things. My boys will play really, really nicely when they have no one else around. It doesn’t have to be expensive. We got a hotel with a kitchen and I packed sandwich stuff, milk, yogurts, breakfasts, etc. from home. We went out to eat twice and ordered cheap pizza once. We did one activity that cost money but the rest of the time we played at the hotel’s pool (and waterslide, which was a huge bonus). My boys were almost as happy just to play in the hotel room as they were to do anything else. One night we rented a movie, bought some candy at Wal Mart and lay on the pull out couch together. It cost about $5 but there was just something super fun about being in a hotel. We had a blast. The kids both got tons of attention from both of us which I think was needed since we’ve both been really busy lately. It was nice to just be together as a family. Even if after 3 days I was ready for a break because orchestrating memories is hard work. It was definitely not a vacation for either of the adults but that was ok. 

And I feel good about orchestrating some memories. In fact, I think we’ll do it again next year. 

A family memory in the making…courtesy of our hotel water slide.

My Proudest Mom Moments

Written by ERICA 

In the past, I’ve shared plenty of moments that I am NOT proud of as a mom. I’ve happily dished on things I’ve done that maybe I’m a little embarrassed about. I’ve talked about crapping myself during childbirth (3 times!), eating my son’s chewed up food, about my irrational fear of birds, my dependence on stretch pants, and my potty mouth. I would happily shout “I SUCKED AT BREASTFEEDING” from the mountaintops or tell you that this morning I let my kid eat food off the dirty (and very public) floor. I’m not exactly proud of any of those behaviors, but I can also share my faults with minimal humiliation because I’m a mom, and moms make mistakes all the time.

As it turns out, it’s pretty easy to recall and share your less stellar moments of motherhood. On the flip side, it’s a lot harder to think about the experiences that you ARE proud of. Maybe it’s because confidence can quickly become cocky, or because if you discuss your achievements you run the risk of sounding arrogant. I get it… nobody wants to be that girl. “Ooooh look at me… today I baked a pie and climbed a mountain and fed the homeless and knit a sweater and wrote a novel and waxed my own bikini and still managed to put a home-cooked meal on the table.” NOBODY LIKES A SHOWOFF.

But today I realized something: motherhood is filled with uphill battles, frustrating scenarios and no-win situations. Yes, you have to be able to laugh at your blunders. But you also HAVE to focus on the moments that make you feel accomplished. It’s OK to want to be praised for your good days and it’s not only OK, but also essential, that you be your own biggest supporter. After all, if you don’t give yourself a pat on the back for changing your kid’s poopy diaper while he’s standing up in the backseat of your car, who will? 

So, at the risk of sounding totally obnoxious, here are a few of my proud mom moments (not counting the obvious, when I actually squeezed a human being out of my lady parts)… 

Traveling Solo with Two “Kids” – When AJ was away on business I decided to take Owen and our puppy to New York, by myself. Sydney, our 17-pound Schnoodle, in her dog carrier on one arm, Owen in my other. It was exhausting, my back hurt, my head hurt and I had to go about 6 hours without peeing, which is hard when the only thing keeping you awake is chugging coffee. But I did it. And every time a passerby would say, “wow, you’ve got your hands full, you’re a brave mom” I would smile to myself and think, “damn straight.”

Anything to keep him happy at 35,000 feet…

Running My First Post-Motherhood Marathon – I had to take almost a year off from the adrenalin rush of running when I was pregnant. So when I completed my 5th NYC Marathon on the same weekend that Owen turned 11 months old, and finished with my fastest time yet, I felt on top of the world. But there is nothing like a sloppy kiss from your toddler, followed by a massive dirty diaper, to knock you back to reality when you get home.

Successful Mealtime – I am lucky…Owen is a really good eater. And he always has been. Pretty sure that has nothing to do with me or my cooking. But AJ has a much more demanding palette. So if I’m able to make a meal (after a long day of entertaining a 17-month-old, mind you) that both Owen and AJ devour, then I think I’ve earned that glass of wine I guzzle at dinnertime. 

Diaper Changing Combat – Owen will not sit still. Never. Unless Dora the Explorer is on, he’s moving around at maniac speed. So to change a diaper without the contents of said dirty diaper ending up on my nice white rug is a challenge. 9 times out of 10 I am sweating bullets by the time a new Pampers is covering O’s crack. So every time I find a new way to keep my kiddo occupied while I wipe his a$$ I get a huge sense of pride. 

Possibly the only time a toddler diaper change has been this easy.

Thank You Mommy – Owen has become very verbal over the past few months. He went from saying one word to full phrases to saying those same phrases at appropriate times, showing me that he actually understands what he’s saying, at least in theory. And one of his most recent favorites is “thank you” after I give him a toy, hand him his water, or put on his shoes. I swear to god I almost eat his face off when he says that. I honestly feel more proud when my little munchkin shows some appreciation and affection than I ever did when I got a promotion at work or an A in college. 

Bottom line: I am finally realizing how important it is to toot your own horn from time to time. I get that if you don’t relish in your own successes as a mom, you’ll surely feel overwhelmed by your failures. Because we do all make mistakes, and we do all have many moments we’re not proud of. But for every bad decision there are a million things we do right to make our kids feel special, safe and loved on a daily basis. So go ahead, share your proudest success stories below…Even if it’s just for a few minutes, take pride in your mothering! You’ve earned it!

Keeping Track of the Memories

Written by BROOKE

One day it just happens. Your little toddler goes from babbling the cutest and sweetest things you’ve ever heard to a three or four-year-old spewing out this sass-filled, crazy talk. At first, you just stand there, totally blindsided. And then you usually alternate between laughing hysterically (and trying to hide it) and wanting to scream. 

I am in the middle of the crazy sass-filled talk right now. The things that come out of this kid’s mouth make us laugh and cringe daily. I have a friend who regularly records her almost-four-year-old’s funnies on her blog. I realized that while I can usually remember Zach’s long enough to repeat them to my husband or mother later on the phone, I am rapidly forgetting these hilarious things he’s saying. And that someday, when he’s saying really hateful teenager things, I’m going to long for the memories of these funny four-year-old days. 

I asked my girlfriend how she kept track of the funny things her daughter said because I was forgetting Zach’s way too fast. She told me she keeps a “T” tab on the notepad part of her phone and jots them down on there. Then when she had a few built up she recorded them on her blog. I loved the idea. I think you could do it with your phone, a little notepad in your purse, or any other number of ways. But I think that if we don’t keep track of some of the hysterical moments, we’ll regret it later. 

So my new challenge is to keep better track of the memories. I want to be able to look back on them someday. And I am already glad that I’m doing it. 

And since you asked, yes, I’ll share a few. And my friend gave me permission to share a few of her little funny girl’s too. 

Recent Zach Funnies: 

“If you don’t let me play the Wii, I’m going to eat CANDY for lunch!” (What a threat!)

“I’m going to send you out to the forest and the animals are going to eat you!” 

After I called another driver a less than stellar name, “Mom, I’m so glad you didn’t call him an idiot.” (What I called him was quite a bit worse than idiot.)

“Mom, I like that dress, it’s not ugly at all.” 

“That’s it! I’m sending you to bed! Without your phone.”  (This kid knows what punishment would work for me!) 

Another funny: after setting up blankets, pillows, cars, books and the ramp in the middle of the hallway so no one could pass, “Mom! We’re having a sleepover!” 

And from the girls’ side. Some “T” Funnies:

Friday night there was a problem at work and her dad had to go in after dinner; he was explaining to T that he had to go back to work and that he’d see her in the morning…

D: Daddy has to go back to work tonight T, I will see you in the morning ok? 

T: Why dad? 

D: Because there are some people at work that aren’t being very nice, so I have to go remind them how to be nice. 

T: Oh, are they hitting, dad? 

D: No, I think that they’re not using nice words. 

T: Oh, like are they saying poop and pee to each other? Dad, you just put them in time out ok?

To her one-year-old brother “B, you are a commoner.” 

When she was mad at her mom: “Mom! If you do that I will go in my bedroom and cut my fairies’ hair!!”

So, how do you keep track of the funnies in your life? Share your ideas with us, or share your kids’ best funnies at poopsiecollective@gmail.com or on our Facebook page.

So Many Phases So Little Time

Written by GWEN

When I look back on the last 14 months, it’s a bit of a blur. On the one hand I can’t believe how fast it’s gone. But on the other hand, it seems like we’ve already packed a lifetime into just over a year. There have been so many phases, trials, tears and moments of joy packed into such a short time. I’m feeling reflective this week (can you tell), so here’s a short list of phases and triumphs over the very special life thus far of Mr. Izzy Mylo.

I remember….

1.) When the mister and I used to lie awake at night in wonder at the ridiculous noises coming from the Moses basket next to our bed.  Mainly the amazingly loud farts.

2.) How Izzy’s tongue used to ALWAYS be out. I think it’s kinda unusually long and when he was really little, it just didn’t fit.

There’s that tongue!

3.) At around 7 months, Izzy finally learned to sit up on his own. So every night he would wake up every few hours crying because he had sat up in his sleep, but  didn’t yet know how to get back to lying down. It was so sad and so cute. And so tiring.

4.) Around that same time, Izzy also decided to wake up at 5:30 every morning. This was ridiculously discouraging, but now he sleeps until 7:30 most mornings. The other day he made it until 8:15. I had NO idea what to do with myself.

5.) At three or four months, we really had a great boob feeding routine down. I would take Izzy up to my bedroom, latch him on and I could actually read a book for half an hour. It was so quiet and peaceful and special.

6.) Then at the very end of the year, as I was winding down his feeds, Izzy bit my nipple to the point of bleeding every time. That was not so peaceful or special. 

7.) At the moment Izzy is in what the Mister calls a Schadenfreude phase.  Basically he thinks it’s HYSTERICAL when anybody falls, hurts them-self, trips, drops something. He may have gotten this from me. Apparently I’ve been in a Schadenfreude phase for the better part of the last two decades. I try to discourage it with Izzy, but it’s SOO sweet when he giggles. 

8.) During the tricky period where Izzy was waking up super early, I admit to putting on Baby TV from time to time. He was OBSESSED with a show called Egg Bird, which consists of decorated eggs with legs, who every episode meet a new egg bird and find him a costume. It’s really very cute. And I SWEAR Izzy shouts, EGGBIR, EGGBIR, every time it comes on.

9.) The drum phase! On Friday mornings, we go to a sing along where at the end every baby gets to bang on a lollipop shaped drum while we sing goodbye to them. Izzy became SO obsessed with this drum, that the teacher had to save him for last every week, so he could play with the drum once the session was over. Then when I finally dragged him away, he burst into tears. We finally got him his own, which he still plays with, but isn’t quite as attached to anymore.

10.) The Leroy phase. Seems to be a lifer. He just LOVES that lion.

Another phase… Izzy used to fall asleep on our bed or on the floor all the time!

I could go on and on, but you get the point! Here’s to another year of god knows WHAT!

Deja View

Written by ERICA

Have you ever tried to recall memories and experiences from your early childhood? Certain years, for me at least, seem to be completely blank. Specifically, the early years, the VERY early years, years 0-2; I assume because my brain wasn’t quite developed enough to tackle long-term memory skills. Or maybe it’s because those years involved a scintillating schedule of bottle, bath, dump, diaper change, and repeat. Not much worthy of remembering 20 years later.

That said, some later memories from my preschool years are so vivid that I know every last detail by heart even now, 20+ years later. (Stop counting, it’s not polite to calculate a lady’s age!) It’s not memories of play dates or birthday parties or the outfits I wore, though I do remember this sick pair of jeweled patent leather shoes that I wore while reenacting the lift scene from Dirty Dancing. Nobody put this baby in the corner.

Anyway, those aren’t the memories that stuck. Nah, the stuff I really remember is from my favorite childhood songs and movies. Especially the magical, delightful world of Wee Sing. Ever heard of it? Maybe not, but back in the 80s the Wee Sing collection of kids’ movies was the balls.

I literally remember everything about them: the red dress Sally wore to her birthday party at Wee Sing Park, the crazy get-up that Silly Whim wore in Sillyville, the words to all of the songs they sing. It’s still all so clear, that it wasn’t until I watched the movies recently (for the first time in a LONG time) that I realized just how long ago it was. I was 2 years old again and at the same time feeing REALLY ancient. It was complete déjà view.

So, considering how much I loved these flicks and how much I remember them as being the ultimate in kid entertainment, it’s ironic (and quite appropriate) that these same movies would be my saving grace on our recent family vacation with Owen.

Last week we went skiing with my family… Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt B, AJ, Owen and me. One big happy family skiing out west, or more like ice skating since the ski gods were not working in our favor. Rocky Mountain time is 2 hrs behind New York/Miami, but time change has never been an issue for baby O. Hello, we went to France with no issues. On our first day, bedtime went down as usual: O happily crashed at about 8:30pm after a long travel day. So imagine our surprise/crankiness when he woke up chipper and freakishly bright eyed at 5:30am. I know, I know. Shut up Erica. Most babies wake up at that hour EVERY DAY. Sack up. And so we did. 

Our happy little family in Beaver Creek, smiling despite our pre-dawn wakeup call.

But what do you do with a baby at that ungodly hour, long before the sun rises, before your family is awake and way before the first ski lift opens?

Crank up the iPad and turn on Wee Sing Together, obviously. And what started as a painfully early wake up call turned into one of the best mornings. There we were: mommy, daddy and baby, cuddling together singing cheesy kid songs at the butt crack of dawn.

Owen, in bed, 5:30am, mesmerized by the magical musical taking place on my iPad.

And the best part wasn’t even how much fun I was having re-watching my favorite flicks from childhood. Even better, was watching Owen’s face light up as he experienced it for the very first time. The kid was in heaven. His eyes bulging out of his head must be what I look like when a new episode of The Vampire Diaries comes on. PURE ECSTASY. 

And all I could think was JUST WAIT BUDDY! We’re only getting started! Just wait until we show you The Lion King, and take you to see a Broadway show, and bring you to your first Miami Heat basketball game, and dance our a$$e$ off at your first Justin Timberlake concert (dear Justin, please go back to making music, love, Owen and his mom).  There is so much that I’ve experienced as a kid/big kid/quasi adult that I always have and will love, and now I get to experience it all over again through Owen’s eyes. I just hope he likes boy bands and vampires, ‘cause he’s got a LOT of that coming. 

The Teenage Dream

Written by ERICA

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic. And not even about my recent experiences as a new mom. Nope, I’ve been thinking about my teenage years. You know, the days of bangs and braces and acne and first kisses. Some people hated those awkward years when almost no one looked attractive (except for that one girl who always seemed to be pretty, even when everyone else was busted), but not me. I loved my teens. That Katy Perry knows what she’s talking about.

Anyway, I think my pangs of nostalgia started when I was back in NY recently for Thanksgiving. And it didn’t have anything to do with the family gathering or the mass amounts of yams I saw Owen devour for the first time (yum). Nope. It must have had something to do with being back in my hometown on the biggest party night of the year (at least in Scarsdale terms). 

I drove by the local restaurant turned bar that gets insanely crowded on the Wednesday before thanksgiving, and I passed the empty field where we used to bring cases of beer when there was no where else to go, and I passed my grandparents house (which has an amazing backyard) where I threw some of the most epic parties of all time. And all along the way I kept thinking… I had FUN here. A lot of fun. Sometimes too much fun. I caused some trouble. I was always responsible of course, which I credit 100% to my parents who always encouraged me to be honest with them and to have my fun but first and foremost be safe. But despite my responsibility, I do have distinct memories of my friends and I doing some things that if Owen ever did I’d be mortified.

And then it hit me.

OWEN IS GOING TO BE A TEENAGER. All of those things I did that give me church giggles to think about now (you know, it’s that thing, where you get so giggly thinking about something but you’re in a place where it’s inappropriate to laugh like work or the gyno or a funeral so you try so hard to keep it in and instead you just start convulsing with laughter), Owen is going to do them. And probably worse. He’s going to use fake IDs to buy beer (please let it not be Zima or wine coolers); he’s going to have parties (please let it be house parties and not clubs on South Beach); he’s going to make out in the bushes and then have to go on his summer trip the next day with a neck full of hickeys (What? No. I never did that, don’t be ridiculous).

Anyway, all of the stuff that, let’s be honest, we ALL did as teens our kids are going to do too. And times have changed; back then it was a big deal to sneak off campus to buy lunch during a free period or take a sip of beer before a homecoming dance. Now you hear about middle schoolers having sex in the bathroom at school. AT SCHOOL! And have you heard about vodka tampons??? Girls are literally soaking tampons in vodka and shoving them in their cha-cha-moons. Why? TO GET DRUNK. It’s the new rage for teens. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.

Bottom line: Owen is going to grow up and become a teenager (and eventually an adult). And potentially make some bad decisions along the way. And probably be a bit of a troublemaker from time to time. And all I can do as his mom is teach him right from wrong, be there for him even when he makes those mistakes, and explain just how disgusting vodka tampons are. 

P.S. The other day AJ and I were discussing what we think will be the first thing we do to embarrass Owen once he hits his teen years. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “I can’t really imagine us embarrassing him at all. I mean, we’re actually cool. We were cool as kids, we’re fun now. As far as parents go, we’re not at all lame.”

AJ: “Totally. I listen to Backspin on Sirius XM Radio. I wear skinny ties. I used to be an honorary member of the Wutang Clan.

Me: Yeah, and I’m a vampire slayer, a teen pop star and a REALLY good dancer.

AJ: We know what’s hip and cool.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure we just figured out how to embarrass him.”