23 2 / 2012
Mommy Brain or Just Not the Brightest Bulb?
Written by GWEN
Every once and a while I say or do something stupid. Everyone does… right? We can’t all be brilliant all the time. I like to blame it on mommy brain—too much multi-tasking going on. Although, truth be told, I have made the occasional un-helpful comment pre-Izzy. I only bring this up now, because I did a doozy the other day and while my Mister was less than amused, I was thrown into a fit of giggles. Which reminded me of giggles past…
EXAMPLE BLUNDER 1: Pre-Baby
It’s 2005. My Mister and I have been living in London for just a few months in our newly purchased Notting Hill flat. Adam wakes up on a Monday morning to get ready for work only to find that the hot water isn’t working. Swearing ensues followed by a lot of stomping around the flat. I don’t really have a clue on how I can help, but am willing to try, so shout from the bedroom,
“Well, do you want me to call BT?”
Adam walks back into the bedroom, glares at me and says, “You could, but I don’t think the phone company will be much help on this matter.”
I mean JEEZ! I had seen a bunch of BT bills come in. It sounds like it could be the water company. I’m an AMERICAN for god’s sake!
EXAMPLE BLUNDER 2: Post-Baby
A bit of background info on this last incident. For the last several weeks our dishwasher hasn’t seemed to work very well. Every time we unload it, half the dishes are still dirty. We haven’t investigated much, just figured we were overloading. That is until, last Friday evening when Adam pulled out a still wrapped dishwasher detergent pellet and held it in front of me.
“What happened here? You didn’t unwrap this?”
“Hmmm. I guess I forgot. I was in the middle of giving Izzy dinner. Some of them you don’t have to unwrap you know.”
“Yeah, but these you do.”
“Oops.”
“This is also not actual detergent. It’s just to get rid of limescale.”
“Oh. I guess that explains why the dishes haven’t gotten very clean.”
“Yup. That and the fact that these are for the washing machine. Not the dishwasher.”
Mystery solved. You’re welcome.
This is an example of when I (with ERICA) had the giggles big time. We were at dinner. Someone walked in on me in the bathroom. I was drunk. Erica was drunker. The next week I found out I was prego. Last hurray? Yes. Last stupid mistake? Not so much!
27 1 / 2012
Absurd Tantrums
Written by BROOKE
The sad sad tantrum face, that makes me want to both cry and laugh.
My boys have tantrums. A lot. With one almost two and one who has just phased out napping every day, it is bound to happen. I have a few different responses to these. Sometimes I get mad. I try to tell them what they are crying about is ridiculous (especially the 4 year old). I tell them I don’t want to listen to their whining. I leave the room. Sometimes, I just ignore. No response at all. Sometimes, I cave (I’m not afraid to admit it, sometimes it’s easier than the tantrum, especially in public). Sometimes I put my head in my hands and cry. And sometimes, ok, a lot lately, I laugh.
Laughing sometimes makes the tantrum worse. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom because I should be doing some sort of parenting trick to get the tantrum to stop. But oh man, my kids have had some doozies lately.
Absurd Tantrum of the Week two weeks ago went to Brady (almost 2). His current favorite book is Goodnight Moon, a classic, which he wants to read approximately 752 times a day. Even Zach has it memorized by now (which is kind of nice because then I can sometimes have Zach “read” it to Brady). So, the other day in the car when Brady said “Mommy, moon go?” I knew he was looking for the moon just like in his book. The only problem? It was 9 am and we had just dropped Zach off for preschool. There was no moon. I said “Brady, it’s day time, the moon isn’t out right now.”
“MOON GO!?” he insisted. “It’s not here” Now he started getting worked up. “SEE MOON!” Now, I kind of started laughing a little but the best was yet to come. Ten more minutes of screaming, crying “SEE MOON NOW MOMMY!” Umm, trust me, I wish you could buddy! But instead of getting mad I was just cracking up. I mean was I seriously sitting in a car with a kid who was screaming because he couldn’t see the MOON?
Absurd Tantrum of this Week goes to Zach (age 4). Now, the start of this tantrum was something somewhat legit but quickly morphed into the absurd. It started by me driving through Chick Fil A to get a Diet Coke. I hadn’t had one all day and had the worst headache and needed one like you wouldn’t believe. I knew if I got a drink and didn’t get something for Zach he would freak, but I had just bought him a treat at a bakery (that didn’t have FOUNTAIN DRINKS, what?) and there was NO way on earth I was also buying him a soda. I know that was kind of mean and I expected a tantrum, just not the one I got. He was, of course, mad that I wasn’t buying him a soda. I told him he could have a water, which of course only made him more mad. I reminded him he had a treat already for when we got home. Not good enough. Then he insisted that I pull over and get out of the car (he’s really big on “kicking me out” of places when he’s mad). I asked what he would do if he kicked me out of the car, how would he get home? (now you have to imagine this in the most angry 4 year old voice you can conjure up). “I will get in the car and drive it MYSELF!” Zach, you can’t even reach the pedals. Plus you are 4. You can’t drive the car. Now cue 20 min tantrum about not being able to drive the car. Real tears. Lots of yelling (by him, I was in the front seat cracking up). Tons of insisting that I pull over RIGHT NOW so he could drive the car. And ending with us getting to our house and him running in as fast as he could to tell Dad how mean I was for not letting him drive the car. Dad’s response? Also laughter. I mean, how can you not laugh at that, I’m cracking up just picturing him SO angry yelling “Dad! Mom is so mean! She won’t let me drive the car!”
Tantrums aren’t all funny. They get me worked up more than they should. But the really absurd ones just crack me up. Maybe next week I can pass the torch. Anyone else have an absurd tantrum to share?
