The Poopsie Collective

Mommy Brain or Just Not the Brightest Bulb?

Written by GWEN

Every once and a while I say or do something stupid. Everyone does… right? We can’t all be brilliant all the time. I like to blame it on mommy brain—too much multi-tasking going on. Although, truth be told, I have made the occasional un-helpful comment pre-Izzy. I only bring this up now, because I did a doozy the other day and while my Mister was less than amused, I was thrown into a fit of giggles. Which reminded me of giggles past…

EXAMPLE BLUNDER 1: Pre-Baby

It’s 2005. My Mister and I have been living in London for just a few months in our newly purchased Notting Hill flat. Adam wakes up on a Monday morning to get ready for work only to find that the hot water isn’t working. Swearing ensues followed by a lot of stomping around the flat. I don’t really have a clue on how I can help, but am willing to try, so shout from the bedroom,

“Well, do you want me to call BT?”

Adam walks back into the bedroom, glares at me and says, “You could, but I don’t think the phone company will be much help on this matter.”

I mean JEEZ! I had seen a bunch of BT bills come in. It sounds like it could be the water company. I’m an AMERICAN for god’s sake!

EXAMPLE BLUNDER 2: Post-Baby

A bit of background info on this last incident. For the last several weeks our dishwasher hasn’t seemed to work very well. Every time we unload it, half the dishes are still dirty. We haven’t investigated much, just figured we were overloading. That is until, last Friday evening when Adam pulled out a still wrapped dishwasher detergent pellet and held it in front of me.

“What happened here? You didn’t unwrap this?”

“Hmmm. I guess I forgot. I was in the middle of giving Izzy dinner. Some of them you don’t have to unwrap you know.”

“Yeah, but these you do.”

“Oops.”

“This is also not actual detergent. It’s just to get rid of limescale.”

“Oh. I guess that explains why the dishes haven’t gotten very clean.”

“Yup. That and the fact that these are for the washing machine. Not the dishwasher.”

Mystery solved. You’re welcome. 

This is an example of when I (with ERICA) had the giggles big time. We were at dinner. Someone walked in on me in the bathroom. I was drunk. Erica was drunker. The next week I found out I was prego. Last hurray? Yes. Last stupid mistake? Not so much!

Product Review: Fisher-Price Apptivity Case

Fisher-Price Apptivity Case for iPhone and iPod Touch. Available starting from $19.99.

Try as we may to keep our kids unplugged, this is 2012. The effects and influence of technology and communication are practically unavoidable. If your children are anything like ours here at the Poopsie Collective, then they are constantly after your iPhone. After having two Blackberries broken by one of these little monsters, we decided to be a bit more proactive with the new iPhone (which, we learned recently, has more power than the computer used to send the first space shuttle to the moon! Something to think about the next time you are playing Hanging with Friends…).

Anyhoodles, we searched high and low for a case that would be protective yet allow the children to engage. There aren’t many options out there. A few cases, like the Otterbox Defender, offers a high level of protection. But, who wants to carry their beautiful, streamlined iPhone around in a high security prison of a case? We found an interesting solution: Fisher-Price’s Apptivity Case. This colorful plastic case allows you to drop-in your iPhone or iPod Touch, lock the back (save your fingernails and use a coin to open and close the lock instead), and your little one is ready to play safely with your device. The phone can’t be used while inside the case (the microphone and ear piece are covered), but otherwise the device is completely functional.

Another plus is that it looks like a toy to the kids. It is easy for them to hold onto, and we like that it signals to the kids that the phone is ready for them to enjoy. We’ve already noticed that they are far less interested when the phone is in mom’s plain black case. File this comment under ‘Things Yuppies Say’: We had an iPod Touch laying around, so we synched it to the iCloud, locked it up in the Apptivity Case, and now the kids have a device all their own! Problem = Solved. 

*Poopsie Collective was neither solicited nor compensated for this review. It is an unbiased product review from one parent. If you have your own review of this product, ideas for other product reviews, or products you would like us to review, please comment here or email us at poopsiecollective@gmail.com

Activities for Toddlers: Sorting

written by STEPHANIE

My 16 month old daughter is high energy. She is quick, she is busy and she wants to be stimulated all the time. I have felt at my wits end with her the last few weeks looking for activities to keep her occupied. Here is the latest that I have to say was a pretty big hit!

What you’ll need:

- Cheerios in a large bowl

- Muffin tin

- Measuring cups

- Tupperware containers (very small)

I set her up on the coffee table because it’s her height and allows her to move around. She doesn’t like being in a chair. She first sampled the goods, happily munching on her favorite snack. Then I showed her that the Cheerios could be scooped up with the measuring cups and dropped into the muffin tins. She got it from there and went to town meticulously moving Cheerios between containers and eating a few more along the way. Then she stuck her hands into the bowl of Cheerios and giggled while she gripped them in her fists. 

After about 20 minutes, she expanded the game from the table and onto the floor, dropping Cheerios first one by one, then by the handful. The dog sat nearby waiting for her turn to clean-up. When my daughter then picked up what was left in the bowl and started to take it away from the table, I steered her back, at which point she lost interest and wanted to play with the kitchen towels that she carts around the house in her doll stroller. 

I picked up the containers on the table, asked the dog to take care of the floor droppings and we were done! Easy set-up, easy clean-up, and my daughter was delighted by the game. 

Next time? I will use multi-colored snacks to introduce an additional sorting element.

Do you have an activity your toddler enjoys? Please email us at poopsiecollective@gmail.com … We’d love to share it with all our readers. 

TV Moms Who Have it All Figured Out

Written by ERICA

Confession time…or for anyone who knows me, this is less of a confession of some deep, dark secret and more of an obvious exclamation of a fact. I live for TV. Or more accurately, I can’t live without TV. I’ll never forget back in High School when I had to do some stupid (not so stupid after all) exercise and calculate how many hours a week I spent watching TV. Turns out, it was a lot. And it’s still a lot. If you consider 15+ hours a week to be a lot. Personally, I don’t. But I’m deluded. Ok, so we’ve established that I’m not normal, I have an addiction to the remote, and I’m questionably beyond help. Hi, my name is Erica, and I’m a TV addict. (Hi, Erica.)

My love of TV isn’t always a bad thing. It’s not like I locked myself in my bedroom and refused food when Buffy the Vampire Slayer switched networks and Buffy “died” (albeit temporarily). Oh wait, I did. Crap. 

It’s not always like that! I swear! Sometimes TV is really helpful! I mean, I learn a lot from the vast collection of shows I study. Maybe not The Bachelor… all I learned from that show’s 16 dreadful seasons is that tube tops are never ever (EVER) flattering unless you give up eating entirely, and most girls look like they have Bell’s Palsy when they cry.  But TV can teach you a lot. For example, when it comes to motherhood, some of my biggest role models are TV moms. Yes, I know they are fake moms. (And yes mom, you are also on my role models list, just not this list.) So they’re fictional characters, does that make their experiences and lessons any less helpful? 

So here’s my list of the top 5 TV moms and what I’ve learned from them that I will carry into motherhood and beyond:

5) Joyce Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, mother to Buffy Summers)

Oh Buffy, my hero, my obsession, my ultimate example of strength, style, awesomeness and power mixed into one pretty little lady. But despite the fact that I am madly in love with her (Buffy the character, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, the actress who embodies that character), I can recognize that to be her mother must SUCK. Ha, get it? Suck? As in, vampires suck your blood. Whatever, it was funny. Being Buffy’s mother cannot have been easy. Your kid is off saving the world night after night, and on top of all that, she’s also banging a dead guy with fangs. Actually, 2 dead guys, both with fangs: one with a soul, and one with a proclivity for human blood. Not an ideal situation for a mom who’s trying to keep her daughter safe, healthy and happy. But Joyce Summers accepted her daughter, she supported her, she made friends with her friends and somehow she was able to be the strong role model Buffy needed at all times. 

Lessons Learned: acceptance is key, and no matter how strong your kids may seem or pretend to be (or in Buffy’s case, actually be), at the end of they day they need your strength behind them.

4) Cindy Walsh (Beverly Hills 90210 (Original), mother to Brenda & Brandon)

Moving to a new city is tough; I speak from experience. Moving from the Midwestern burbs to Beverly Hills is debatably the toughest. Your once-upon-a-time perfect twins are about to be faced with bad boys (Dylan McKay, swoon), drugs, slutty girls, BMWs, eating disorders, legacy keys, troubled teens, pregnancy scares…the list goes on. Now Cindy Walsh isn’t exactly my type of mom, I mean, she wore mom jeans and had the bowl haircut (which I could blame on the style of the times, but then again, Kelly’s mom was always super cool). But despite her style, Cindy always made a home-cooked meal. She always opened her home to troubled friends in need of a stable adult figure. She and Jim actually loved each other. She was the glue that held the Walsh family together. Something I hope to be for my clan.

Lessons Learned: a home-cooked meal goes a long way, and though it often seems like a thankless job, sometimes just being present and welcoming in your home is everything.

3) Ashley Marin (Pretty Little Liars, mother to Hanna)

First of all, if you don’t watch Pretty Little Liars, get involved. This show is AMAZEballs. Anyway, Ashley Marin (PKA Sydney Andrews on Melrose Place) is a lot of things, but the top of the list when it comes to her best mom qualities: intelligent, witty, and real. She knows her daughter isn’t always making the best decisions. She knows people make mistakes. She gets that high school girls can be bitchy. She also knows that sometimes to be a good mom, you have to give your kid space. And most importantly, she knows when her kid is lying just by surveying her twitchy face. I presume that face-reading is a must-have skill for moms of teenagers.

Lessons Learned: study your kid’s facial expressions starting, like, yesterday. And let them learn from their own mistakes; but be there, be open and be honest with them.

2) Cameron (Cam) Tucker (Modern Family, father/mother figure to Lily)

Fine, not a “mom” per-se. But a mother figure for sure. He’s a party planner extraordinaire, expert clown, stay-at-home-dad, loving husband and hysterical father. Also, he rocks the drums, sings to little Lily and loves to accessorize. And while I’d rather look like Claire Dunphy (so pretty!), she’s a little too high-strung for my taste. Cam is the perfect mix of protective, intense, involved, fun-loving, and funny.

Lessons Learned: a good birthday party goes a long way, it’s important to be silly with your kids, and a well-crafted outfit is always appreciated, even on a toddler.

1) Tami Taylor (Friday Night Lights, mother to Julie and Gracie Belle)

And now, for my # 1 TV mom hero. AJ is shaking his head right now because just the other night I turned down watching an episode of Friday Night Lights so that I could catch up on The Vampire Diaries. Vampires over football any day, AJ. Write that down. That said, Tami Taylor is just the absolute coolest, hottest, most amazing mom I’ve ever seen (on TV). She ALWAYS knows what to do. Always. How does she freakin’ do that? She handles everything (motherhood, being the school principle, being the football coach’s wife, town politics…) with such grace and ease. She seriously makes it look so simple. Daughter caught boning the team quarterback? No problem. School bad boy (oh Timmy Riggins I adore you so) needs a place to crash? Sure. Husband gets a gig at TMU while you are 8 months pregnant and stuck in Dillon as the school counselor? Peace of southern pie. She is supportive, she is understanding, but she also speaks her mind. And her family always (ALWAYS) comes first.

Lessons Learned: loving and supporting your family is your number 1 job, stand up for what you believe is the best thing for your loved ones. And roll with the punches, because no one is perfect and try as you might, nothing works out exactly as you plan.

Brotherly Love

Written by BROOKE

My husband and I are both close to our siblings. Not like crazy, talk on the phone ten times a day close, but close as in we can stay in a house for a week with our siblings, not kill each other and have a really good time. I think we’re really lucky that we both like each other’s families. I love it and I feel happy that my kids will know their cousins well because we all get along and enjoy spending time together. 

But it wasn’t always that way in my family. My siblings and I didn’t always get along. We fought. A lot. And violently. (Kid violently, not like sociopath violently). At least my brother closest in age and I did, and I’m pretty sure the others did too. I was 7 and 11 years older than the other two, so we didn’t fight quite as much. But I can’t say we liked each other. Sure, I have memories of us having fun together and doing fun things. But I have a lot of memories of us screaming and hitting. And then I left for college. And when we weren’t all under the same roof things started to change. We got along a lot better. And now that three of the four of us are married with kids I’d say we’re even closer. We now have more in common. 

But I don’t want my kids to be adults before they like each other.  How do I make them like each other now? I’d say at 2 and 4 they are about 60/40 as in 60% of the time they are fighting and 40% of the time they are getting along fabulously. I blame the 4 year old mostly because he’s crazy possessive of things right now and can’t learn how to share. But the 2 year old isn’t blameless. I mean, he has learned how to push his brother’s buttons. You should see the devilish look on his face when he grabs one of Zach’s cars and runs out of the room with it. 

I keep telling Zach, “this is your BROTHER; he should be your best friend!” But his response is always, “he is NOT my best friend, WILL is my best friend.” I don’t know how to teach them to love each other. I know that fighting is inevitable; I mean I don’t think there are siblings on the planet that never fought. But I look at kids who were best friends with their siblings even in high school and I envy that. I want that for my kids. I’m just not sure how to get us there (and I have a feeling yelling “LOVE YOUR BROTHER” might not be working). 

But there are those moments… like last night when they took forever to go to sleep because they were giggling and being silly in their room. Or when I come get them at the gym and they are laying on the ground together coloring as if they really are best friends. Those are the moments when I think I might have a chance. 

Brothers AND best friends? We’re working on it…

So Many Phases So Little Time

Written by GWEN

When I look back on the last 14 months, it’s a bit of a blur. On the one hand I can’t believe how fast it’s gone. But on the other hand, it seems like we’ve already packed a lifetime into just over a year. There have been so many phases, trials, tears and moments of joy packed into such a short time. I’m feeling reflective this week (can you tell), so here’s a short list of phases and triumphs over the very special life thus far of Mr. Izzy Mylo.

I remember….

1.) When the mister and I used to lie awake at night in wonder at the ridiculous noises coming from the Moses basket next to our bed.  Mainly the amazingly loud farts.

2.) How Izzy’s tongue used to ALWAYS be out. I think it’s kinda unusually long and when he was really little, it just didn’t fit.

There’s that tongue!

3.) At around 7 months, Izzy finally learned to sit up on his own. So every night he would wake up every few hours crying because he had sat up in his sleep, but  didn’t yet know how to get back to lying down. It was so sad and so cute. And so tiring.

4.) Around that same time, Izzy also decided to wake up at 5:30 every morning. This was ridiculously discouraging, but now he sleeps until 7:30 most mornings. The other day he made it until 8:15. I had NO idea what to do with myself.

5.) At three or four months, we really had a great boob feeding routine down. I would take Izzy up to my bedroom, latch him on and I could actually read a book for half an hour. It was so quiet and peaceful and special.

6.) Then at the very end of the year, as I was winding down his feeds, Izzy bit my nipple to the point of bleeding every time. That was not so peaceful or special. 

7.) At the moment Izzy is in what the Mister calls a Schadenfreude phase.  Basically he thinks it’s HYSTERICAL when anybody falls, hurts them-self, trips, drops something. He may have gotten this from me. Apparently I’ve been in a Schadenfreude phase for the better part of the last two decades. I try to discourage it with Izzy, but it’s SOO sweet when he giggles. 

8.) During the tricky period where Izzy was waking up super early, I admit to putting on Baby TV from time to time. He was OBSESSED with a show called Egg Bird, which consists of decorated eggs with legs, who every episode meet a new egg bird and find him a costume. It’s really very cute. And I SWEAR Izzy shouts, EGGBIR, EGGBIR, every time it comes on.

9.) The drum phase! On Friday mornings, we go to a sing along where at the end every baby gets to bang on a lollipop shaped drum while we sing goodbye to them. Izzy became SO obsessed with this drum, that the teacher had to save him for last every week, so he could play with the drum once the session was over. Then when I finally dragged him away, he burst into tears. We finally got him his own, which he still plays with, but isn’t quite as attached to anymore.

10.) The Leroy phase. Seems to be a lifer. He just LOVES that lion.

Another phase… Izzy used to fall asleep on our bed or on the floor all the time!

I could go on and on, but you get the point! Here’s to another year of god knows WHAT!

Wildcard Wednesday: I’m a Weird Mom

Guest Written by Jennifer Prinzing

Hi, my name is Jenn, I’m a reader of The Poopsie Collective, and I have a confession: I’m a weird mom. 

Sure, on the outside I certainly seem like a normal mama of 1-year old Mia, but up in my brain I register about an 87 on the oddball scale. I’ve recently started thinking that the things that run through my head on a daily basis are uncommon to say the least. Or are they? Intrigued? Well, take a peek…(and here’s hoping that my weirdo realizations and passing thoughts as a mom aren’t quite as bizarre as I think. I mean, it can’t just be me, right?)

- No one could have prepared me (or is it that no one did prepare me) for how many of Mia’s boogers I would wipe on my own pants. 

- I hate when I have to poop during Mia’s naps. It feels like such a waste of my free time.

- Mia loves this crappy board book filled with babies doing mundane things (touching their shoulders, smelling a flower). It is so boring to read and the photos are ultra cheesy. But then I realized: this is basically her version of US Weekly.

- Has my baby completely wrecked my brain, or is Kathie Lee Gifford starting to make sense? 

- A plane ride is like Spring Break for babies. Mia gets unlimited access to all her vices (boobs, pacifiers, puffs), she gets to try adventurous new snacks and, most exciting of all, she gets typically forbidden things—like my iPod touch and cartoons. Like a sorority girl boozing with Malibu, she is drunk with power. Babies Gone Wild, indeed.

- Whenever I hold Mia up to a mirror, I feel like my face is super weird. Next to her, my head is giant and oddly long, my skintone is uneven, red & shiny, my pores and teeth are huge. And there’s no getting away—baby toys almost always have mirrors.

Like mother like daughter? We shall see…

- Getting my period back post-preggo was stupid. I mean, how much practice do we really need moving that egg down?!  Certainly not every month for years and years.

- Could I be the only person whose farts have started to smell like her baby’s poop?

- This Christmas, I got to thinking: adults need their own version of Elf on a Shelf. It’s called Midge in a Fridge and he gets rid of any old food or stuff that you don’t want anymore but feel too guilty to throw away. He would even rinse and recycle out-dated condiment jars. 

- I’m not looking forward to the phase where Mia berates me with her words. You probably think I’m talking about when she’s a teenager, but I’m not. I know from other moms that toddlers can be pretty harsh. When Mia hits this stage, it’ll be like I’m back in junior high, worrying about my hair and makeup and what I’m wearing everyday (shudder). These are actual quotes from friends’ toddlers:                   

   “Ew, your breath stinks; brush your teeth.”

   “Hair too wacky-doody,” while handing her a comb. 

   ”Your legs are scratchy! You need to shave.” 

American vs French Playdates: Are We Raising Insecure Kids?

Yes, That is my Babysitter

Written by ERICA

I feel like there is some unwritten code among moms when it comes to anyone you hire to help care for your children. Ever since Jude Law diddled his average-looking-at-best nanny, moms have been VERY cautious about the women they invite into their homes. If a super slamming hottie shows up at your door to watch your kid while you go out to dinner, you would be wise to gently slam the door in her face and order in Chinese. 

Obviously moms are first and foremost looking for a nanny/babysitter who is responsible, caring, sweet, trustworthy, energetic, loving etc. etc. etc. But I know very few women who, even if she had all of those qualities, would welcome a 5’8”, skinny-mini, big-boobed, gorgeous blonde into their family with open arms.

Which is exactly what I did.

When we first moved to Miami I decided I didn’t need, or maybe more accurately, didn’t want, any full-time help taking care of Owen. At the time I wasn’t working on anything that couldn’t be done from home while Owen played/napped, and truthfully most of the activities or chores I had to take care of revolved around him. Playgroups, classes, supermarket trips…all things I could do with him by my side, so there didn’t seem to be a reason for extra help around the house.  

But from day one of parenthood AJ and I made a pact that our weekend evenings were sacred. It was an absolute necessity that we had the freedom to enjoy some adult conversations and more importantly adult beverages. So we decided to hire a regular sitter to join our clan. I reached out to a babysitting agency down here in Miami that came highly recommended to me, and they suggested Cindy*, who was described to me as a sweetie-pie 27 year old from Atlanta, Georgia; great with kids, amazingly positive to be around, funny, enthusiastic, and just a general pleasure as a babysitter.

Cindy showed up and I swear to god I almost wet my pants right there in the doorway. I’m not sure what I expected since I knew her entire life story and had seen a picture in her bio. I guess I just didn’t expect her to be so, um, HOT. I mean, the girl is BEAUTIFUL. Like, southern bell beautiful. She has long blond hair, she’s thin and athletic at the same time, and she’s so tall my head just barely grazes her boobs when we hug (which we do, a lot). Speaking of her boobs, they are everything my recently-had-a-kid-so-I-lost-an-entire-cup-size boobs are not. 

Anyway, point being, she’s adorable. I wouldn’t even blame AJ if he had an affair with her. Hell, if I were on that team I’d do it myself. (JUST KIDDING AJ!) So given that realization, any new mom in her right mind would have said thanks but no thanks. “You’re great and all, but you’re a tad too attractive to have around while I spend my days covered in spit-up and I smell like the rejected pieces of Muenster cheese Owen throws at me.”

But before that thought could even cross my mind something amazing happened. Cindy got down on the floor and Owen basically crawled right into her arms. And then I saw it: sparks were flying and my little man was in love. And as I watched them play I realized that I didn’t give a rat’s a$$ if my sitter was a total Angelina to my Jen (you like how I just made myself Jennifer Aniston in this situation? Can you say delusional?!). She is absolutely amazing with my kid, she adores him, she connects with him, and he loves her back. 

And turns out, she’s not just amazing with Owen. She is one of the absolute best things that has happened to me since we moved. She’s not just our sitter, she’s our friend. I am crazy about her. We bond, we confide in each other, we giggle over stupidity like when I told her that I shit myself 3 times during childbirth. Wait, did I even tell you guys that? No? Oh, well, uh, now you know. It happened, it’s apparently normal, and we’ll get to that in another post. 

So anypoop, I’ve stopped caring that when people meet Cindy they look at her and then say to me with crazy eyes “wait, so that’s your babysitter? Are you SURE this is a good idea?” YES. That is my babysitter. She is amazing, she is smart, she is hot as a mother f*cker and my son is a VERY lucky man. 

*Note: my sitter’s real name is not Cindy, but she looks just like Cindy Mancini from Can’t Buy Me Love, the amazing 80’s movie starring a then-dorky McDreamy. I figured it would be best to protect her privacy and not embarrass her entirely in this one post.

What’s For Dinner?

Written by BROOKE 

Stephanie’s “Simplify Series” this week inspired me to write a post about how I do dinners. I haven’t figured out everything in the world of homemaking but I would dare say that dinner time is something I have greatly improved on in the past few years. Gone are the three nights a week of takeout or frantically unthawing meat under hot water ten minutes before my husband gets home. 

Here are my secrets…

Plan a Menu

Usually on Saturdays, but always by Sunday we (meaning I involve the hubby for the most part) plan a menu. We look over the weekly grocery ads to check the sales, take inventory of our freezer and pantry and plan five meals. I’m a realist. We’ll eat out, go over to friends or eat leftovers at least twice. Sunday-Thursday usually does it for us. Having a menu plan makes everything easier; shopping, making sure whatever meat I need is out of the freezer, and it helps that I post it on the fridge so I don’t have a husband who comes home and says “Tacos? I had those for lunch.” It’s on the menu! My menu is flexible. Although some meals are slated for certain nights because of work schedules, I have no problem switching things around too. Nothing is set in stone at our house. 

My cute menu planner that I keep on the fridge. You can get one at Anthropologie.

Make Your List

I’ve learned this the hard way. Now, I painstakingly go through my meals and figure out what I need, even if it means getting out the recipe. Too many times I’ve gone to make something and been missing a key ingredient (ask my neighbors, they’re always the ones I call in a panic) and, well you’ve seen what happens when I try to drag my kids to the store for “just one thing.” I also make sure my list includes items for breakfasts and lunches (those are pretty simple around here, lots of sandwiches, fruits, veggies, yogurt). 

Shop

I usually have to hit up some combo of Trader Joe’s, grocery and Costco but if I can, I try to cut one of those out each week (Costco can usually be every other week or every three weeks and if I’m getting something at Trader Joe’s, I sometimes plan my whole week around items I can get there). 

I try to shop sans kids. Saturday night is my preferred time, but sometimes the hubs and I split it up on Saturday during naps. 

My goal is to only shop once a week. I find it saves tons of money when you are not running to the store three times a week and it saves sanity! 

Know Your Schedule

Be realistic. What is your week like? Is your husband working late every night? Don’t make a huge meal for just you and a toddler. What about work, lessons, etc.? I work out of the home on Mondays and Wednesdays in the afternoon. I don’t get home those days until 6:30, which is way after my kids normal time for dinner. On those days I try to plan something that I can totally make ahead that my husband can heat up for the kids when he gets home, or something in the crock pot that will require minimal effort. It’s not that my husband can’t cook (he’s a great cook) but by the time he gets home and I’m still gone the kids are starving and they need something quick. Plus I like to have something as soon as I walk in the door.  

Prep and Freeze if Possible

I actually don’t mind making somewhat elaborate meals. I try to keep it pretty simple but once or twice a week I make something more involved or try something new. The secret for me, in this stage, is that I have a napper. I can usually get my four year old to have quiet time while the little one naps and during that time, I prep dinner. Anything that can be done ahead of time, I do. I cut up veggies, cook chicken to shred, anything I can get done before that dinner rush. The ideal meal for me is something I can almost completely prep ahead of time. Also, when I can, I’ll cook double of a meal or part of a meal and freeze it. I haven’t really perfected this yet but taco filling, stuffed pepper filling and some soups freeze really well and it’s great to have a few meals stashed away in the freezer for a crazy week. 

Go Easy on Yourself

We have PLENTY of nights when it just doesn’t come together. A few weeks ago we had family in town, life was crazy and I realized on Friday I had fed my kids quesadillas three times that week. It happens. But it’s nice on those weeks when you have it all under control. And having a plan assures that happens more often than not. 

The response I hope to get from dinners…

The Mum Tum

Written by GWEN

I’ve never had a flat stomach. It’s just not the way I’m built. I mean I can see my feet, and most of the time my hoo-ha, unless I’ve been out for a celebratory meal or something, if you know what I mean. No? 

ANYWAY, I’ve learned to hide this, handicap if you will, pretty well.  Because otherwise I’m a pretty small person, proportionally. I’ve been told I have nice long legs and a tight little toosh. (By the way, apparently this shape is known in magazines like Glamour as “The Apple”. I know, I don’t get it either.) So I accentuate my good areas. You know, I work a lot of A-line or tent dresses. Kaftans, blouses. Nothing tight. Ever. I guess my body has molded my fashion sense and taste in a way, and I’m okay with that. Every now and then I wish I could sport a belt, show a little waist line—especially when high-waisted jeans were in—but it’s fine. I get by and still manage to look pretty put together if you ask me.

When I was prego, it was quite liberating to let it all hang out. I actually did wear tight tops for the first time in my life. It was OK to have a belly and I was proud to show it off.

Me about to pop in probably the tightest shirt I’ve ever owned!

Then, once I had Izzy, I went back to my normal figure pretty quickly. (Isn’t figure such a retro word??) That is to say, I still had a little belly, but everything else was pretty good. And when I was breast feeding and chasing around Izzy every day, I was pretty skinny. Still had a pooch mind you, but not bad. 

Almost three months have passed now since I stopped breast feeding and I’m looking a little worse for wear these days. I hide it well, and like I said, I’m certainly not fat, but the tum is BACK. And better than ever. It’s a little bigger than I would like and I understand at some point I am going to have to cut down on the dessert and pork belly dinners. Not in winter though. Don’t be ridiculous. 

I have been feeling a little bad about myself lately, though, and here’s what didn’t help… I ran into a fellow mom friend yesterday at a playcentre. I looked pretty cute, wearing jeans, boots and a navy silky kaftany-type top. I hadn’t seen my friend in a while, and after we had chatted for a few minutes, I must have leaned a certain way, which prompted, “OH! Is that a little bump you’re hiding under there?” 

“NOOO!!!!” I shouted without thinking.

She turned bright red and apologized profusely. I mean, I wasn’t really upset, it takes a lot to offend me. 

And to be fair, the real answer to her question is, “Yes. Since 2001.”

Celebrity Styling Advice for Mamas: Interview with Taylor Jacobson

written by STEPHANIE

“Your baby’s arm feels like a dildo,” Taylor Jacobson confessed, shocked and a little embarrassed. Taylor isn’t like anyone you’ve ever met before. Her physical presence is notable, sure. She is petite, thin as can be, and all lashes framed by white blonde hair. But that’s just a small part of her equation. The sh*t that comes out of her mouth is f*cking fantastic. When she met my daughter, before finding similarities between her appendages and sex toys, she literally said, “ew.” The thought of a tiny person throwing up on her without notice, then pissing and sh*tting themselves, was too much. But she showered us with a wardrobe of BabyGap anyway and dressed me for a black tie event. She patiently offered gown after gown to accommodate my giant, nursing breasts. To say the girl has a heart of gold is putting it lightly.

She sat down with us and shared her genius styling advice for the Moms of America. But honestly, the Women of America should take notes as well… the girl is good. 

Poopsie Collective: What pieces should every woman/mom have in her wardrobe this spring?

Taylor Jacobson: Every woman should own a great blazer, a LBD (little black dress), and a black pump. Blazers go with everything. You can dress it up or down. The LBD is seasonless. You can always repeat it with different accessories. Also, a great statement nacklace, a fun pump, bright colored clutch. And black pumps never go out of style. They are classic and chic. Invest in a good pair!

TJ: A mistake that lots of women and men make is over styling. You never want to look like a collage. Keep it to one trend, and remember that less is more!

TJ: SPANX IT!!!!! I live for them. No one is perfect and they smooth out every line. Trust me, no one walks the redcarpet without them. 

TJ: Accessories!! Clutches, shoes, and jewels are easy ways to update your look. Aldo and Steve Madden make super chic and affordable shoes and clutches that work for all occasions. BCBG Generation makes fabulous, trendy, faux jewels. Look for statement cocktail rings, layering necklaces and cuffs. 

TJ: I’m working on a new reality show called ‘LA Style (wt)’. It follows the new generation of fashion stylists in LA. It will be airing on Oxygen later this year. 

TJ: I love the excitement of the ever changing world of fashion. I love when my clients rock it on the red carpet. And everything inspires me, from art to people, and places, and movies… life!

Taylor was raised on the mean streets of Beverly Hills, and has worked tirelessly styling for films, shoots and celebrity red carpet events. She is probably best known for her work as Rachel Zoe’s right hand on Bravo’s ‘The Rachel Zoe Project’. She has an impeccable work ethic and is known for being a perfectionist on the job. She headlines the new show, ‘LA Style (wt)’ on Oxygen, which airs later this year. 

Many thanks to Taylor, from the PC team, for taking time to chat with us. You’re a rock star!

The Simplify Series: Dream Dinners

written by STEPHANIE

Dinners have become challenging since the little one entered our lives. We were BIG cooks back in our pre-offspring lives. Both my husband and I loved trying new recipes, having dinner parties, and going over the top when cooking at home. But now that the munchkin is here, we’re drained come dinner time. All I want to do is turn on Hulu, catch up on my shows (has anyone else actually thanked the heavens that Liz Lemon is finally back? I know Tina Fey had a baby and all, but people are depending on her! Chop, chop, Lady!), and order take-out. 

My hubs, on the other hand, while not interested in cooking himself, still longs for home cooked meals. Enter another hair brained scheme by Stephanie Stuart! Dream Dinners.

My cousin, a stay-at-home mother of two (4 y.o. and 2 y.o.), introduced me to Dream Dinners. And boy oh boy, is it ever a DREAM! I was nervous when I committed, but I had to trust her. She is a foodie, after all. I mean, the tables at her wedding were named after their favorite restaurants from around the world. Seriously. This girl knows her food. 

So here’s how it works:

- Pre-select your menu for the month, minimum of 36 servings/ 9 meals. The average couple will eat 3 servings with a little leftover. It’s the perfect amount for sharing with kids, or putting away leftovers for lunch the next day.

- Select your session date and time.

- Arrive at the Dream Dinners location, bringing only a cooler or box to take home your meals. 

- Stations are set-up inside, one for each meal offered on that month’s menu. Recipes have simple instructions with color coded measurements, making assembling your meals really fast and foolproof. 

- After your meals are ready, the staff packs them into your cooler/box, loads them into your car, and you’re DONE!

- Average session should only take an hour and you’ll have dinners for the whole month!

Miscellaneous details:

- Meals are priced individually, so the cost of your monthly meals will vary based on what you order. Your total is broken down by serving, which is a nice way to see how it compares to a typical dinner at home. My family’s average was only $4.99 per serving for the month. For us, Dream Dinners is actually a savings.

- Most meals do not include side dishes. When you arrive at Dream Dinners, they have a freezer full of appetizers, soups, sides, desserts, etc. that you can add-on for an additional charge. I picked up a Sweet Potato Tater-Tot package that my daughter LOVES! Ok, me too… probably more than her. 

- There is no commitment. None. Zero. Do it this month and you can do it again anytime you want. Or not! If it doesn’t work for your family, you have no obligation to go back. There is nothing to even cancel. 

- The staff is so nice! They were patient and informative, and ready to help in anyway they could. When all of my stations were occupied, they offered me tea and a snack for the wait! I mean… LOVE!

Examples of dinners. None of mine have actually looked like these, but it’s good to have goals. 

The verdict:

- So far we have tried two of our dinners, both have been good. Not great. Just good.

- Side dishes are always a challenge for us, and our meals are typically just entrees. Dream Dinners hasn’t changed this much. Some of their pre-packaged side dishes work with the meals, but for the most part we still have to take care of the salad/veggie component of a meal on our own. 

- The monthly menu doesn’t offer many vegetarian options. We aren’t vegetarians, but we try to eat healthily.

- The Dream Dinners meals don’t have preservatives, but the meals aren’t exactly light or fresh either. Our dinner last night tasted like it came from Applebee’s. If you like Applebee’s, TGIFridays, Chili’s, and the like, you will probably be really happy with the meals. 

- Meals still take a good chunk of time before they are ready to eat. Granted, there isn’t any prep time needed, like chopping and measuring and cleaning. But depending on the meal, you may need a good hour of cooking time. 

- Will I do it again next month? Still not sure… 

To find a Dream Dinners near you, click here. There are companies out there using a similar structure but offering gluten-free, kosher, organic or vegetarian specific menus.

This is not a paid advertisement. Poopsie Collective was not compensated for this post in any way. 

Playground Politics

Written by ERICA

I believe in something called social etiquette. I believe in manners. I truly feel that one of the more important lessons you can teach your kids (or be taught yourself) is to treat others the way you want to be treated. Be polite. Be courteous. Be kind. Blah blah blah. Now, this is not to say that I’ve never treated others badly. Please, we’ve all been through middle school. And truth be told I did get kicked out of tennis camp for pranking a 10-year-old girl and framing another kid for the crime. (It was a REALLY clever prank, which I won’t divulge here because if I do then I’m pretty sure no one will ever listen to my parenting advice or read my posts again.) 

But despite some of my less-than-sophisticated decisions in the past (I suppose throwing red, white and blue dyed tampons into a crowd of kids on July 4th is considered poor form?) and any bad behavior I exhibit from time to time, I try to always treat people (adults and their kids) with respect, and I expect the same in return.

That said, here’s a pickle. How the hell are you supposed to act respectful and mature when a bratty 7-year old sporting a ‘tude and zero parental supervision crosses you in the playground? 

A few weeks ago we were hanging around a park with my sister-in-law Val and my niece Parker, who’s slightly older than Owen. Owen had recently mastered the whole running around thing, so a fenced-in playground where he could roam free without fear of stumbling into oncoming traffic was a dream (for both of us). He was flopping around like a drunken frat boy during Greek Week and I could sit comfortably on the bench catching up with Val in peace. That is, until Bratty-pants McGee walked in. 

Owen happily chilling on some swings…not prepared for the playground drama to come. 

I’m sure you’ve all met a kid like this… struts her stuff like her sh*t don’t stink and thinks she owns the joint. You know what I mean. And yes, she was approximately 7 years old, as if that gives her a right to behave that way. Anyway, fine, she was clearly a snotty little biyatch, but that’s OK. Really her attitude is none of my business. Until it is.  

Owen and Parker were playing nicely, climbing on the jungle gym, or in Owen’s case attempting to climb and instead falling on his face into mulch. It was cute and they were bothering no one. Then, up walks Little Miss Bitchy to tell me that Owen was in her space and I quote “He’s annoying me, he’s in my way and you need to move him.” He was doing nothing but looking clueless and giggling next to the jungle gym, which apparently was “her house and he needed to move because he wasn’t invited into her house.” Ok, fine. She’s playing house. I get it. But guess what? I don’t give a crap about your game of house. F*ck off little lady. 

Which is clearly not what I said. Remember, I’m respectful. Social etiquette and all that. So I smiled and looked for her mother, who was nowhere to be found. All I saw was her nanny and a man who seemed questionably homeless, but turns out was just her grandpa. And PS, both were doing absolutely nothing to manage this kid. So then I tried to negotiate. “Ok sweetheart, you don’t have to play with him, and I’ll make sure he doesn’t get in your way if you just let him play here with me.” Seemed like a fair deal, but nope, not good enough for her. She was a tough cookie. “NO! I DON’T LIKE HIM. GET HIM AWAY.” 

This went on for a few minutes and it took every bit of strength I had not to throw her off the swings. Literally, I wanted to punch her face in. I don’t care that she’s 7. And actually, what I really wanted was to beat down her “caretakers” (I use the term loosely) for being so freakin’ neglectful. Like WAKE UP NANNY. WHAT’S UP GRANDPA? Why don’t you help or something?!

Thank goodness for my sis-in-law, who’s more experienced at this crap than I. She gave the whole “listen kid, this is a big playground. Everyone is invited to play here, this isn’t your house. This playground was here before you got here, and it will be here when you leave. So why don’t you stick to your game over there and we’ll play over here” talk. All I wanted to do was yell a WHOOP WHOOP and a TAKE THAT SLUT in the kid’s face, but I didn’t. I held it in, we moved locations slightly, and 10 minutes later it was time to leave. Fights were avoided and I managed to leave almost as mature and polite as I walked in.

And on my way home I realized, I think that was officially my first lesson in playground politics. It was a lesson I was not really prepared to learn so soon, and one I think failed. Because even though I held myself together, I’m pretty sure a deep desire to smack someone else’s child is not really a good thing.

So as innocent as a playground may look, apparently this is where a kid’s bratty side comes out and his mother’s patience is put to the test.

Facebook: Acknowledgement for Moms

Written by BROOKE

I know you have one of these friends too. On a daily basis her Facebook status usually says something like the following:

“Gave birth, ran 12 miles, canned tomatoes I grew in my own garden, cleaned my baseboards with a toothbrush, made my family an organic dinner, took some to the neighbors, whipped up a batch of homemade bread with wheat I ground myself and now I’m pooped! Time for The Bachelor!” 

Gag. Overachiever. Why does she have to post that on Facebook? Does she want the rest of us to feel bad about ourselves? Job well done. 

And then, the other day I did it, too. I Facebook-bragged about cleaning. It was only my pantry; I cleaned it out and organized it. It was something that had been on my to-do list for about, umm, four years (not joking). I did it. And, well, I knew something. I knew that my KIDS were not going to open up the pantry and say “Wow mom! Look how clean and organized this is! It must have taken you all day! Good job, thanks!” I mean, if they said anything remotely like that I would have keeled over and died right there on the spot. No, they just wanted to know where their snacks were now. And my husband? Well I SHOULD be able to count on him to acknowledge that type of thing but let’s be honest. He’s also pretty much only worrying about snacks. I learned the lesson about him and acknowledgement when I proudly showed him one of the cupboards I had spent all day reorganizing in the kitchen shortly after Zach was born. I was SO proud of my productivity. His response? To open up another cupboard, unorganized and overflowing with stuff, and say “What about this one?” I gave up on him after that. 

So what’s a mom to do? I mean come on, I spent ALL day on this project! So I did it. I wrote about it on Facebook. And you know what? It made me feel good! I got the virtual pats on the back from my mom friends. Even those virtual thumbs up brought me a little smile and made me feel like, see, I’m doing a good job here! 

I even took a picture of part of my organized pantry: the snack basket I made for the kids (which turned out to be an epic fail but that’s for another post!)  

And the best part? I didn’t have to post the next day that we stayed in our pajamas and watched movies all day. Nope, no one has to know about that. So now, instead of rolling my eyes at my friends who post about their productive days, I acknowledge them. I tell them, “good job supermom!” or “I could never do that!” After all, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? A little pat on the back for the thankless job we do every day. Thank you Facebook for giving us moms a place to be acknowledged for all the hard work we do.