Written by GWEN
I have recently found myself in an ongoing crisis situation. Kinda in between a quarter and mid-life crisis. ‘Cause the thing is, and I think Britney said it best, “I’m not a girl. Not yet a woman.” Well fine, some might say a 35-year-old with two kids is, in fact, like the definition of a woman. But I still don’t feel quite mature enough to be called a woman. You know? Which brings me to my point. That’s right. It’s a wardrobe crisis.
I literally have NOTHING to wear. EVER. And it is killing me.
Stressing trying on outfits for a 1930s themed black tie dinner.
Suddenly all of my clothes seem either too young, too lame, or they just don’t look right on my body anymore. This is not to say I was wearing super immature, trendy, slutty clothes before. In fact, I have always prided myself on purchasing non trendy items for my wardrobe. (Most of the time. I mean who could resist the Boyfriend Jeans.) But, my body has changed. I have actually lost weight, and since having kids things are just proportioned slightly differently. Outfits that have always been my Go-To, look silly to me now. Sure, I have some favorite archive pieces that will always look good and always be appropriate, but I can’t survive on three solid outfits alone. Especially when I’m seeing the Tall Skinnies practically every day on the school run and at social events (i.e. birthday parties, dinners, lunches and playdates.) The pressure is too great.
These three manage to somehow always look chic, put together and well…like real, adult women. They are poised. They are sophisticated. They wear cashmere in front of their children. I, on the other hand, feel like a 12-year-old most days, posing as an adult.
Last time we all went to lunch I planned ahead and wore one of my current go-to outfits. Should have been fool proof. And yet, still, there were issues. My favorite Isabel Marant trousers are just a bit big now and the unfortuante results of this were twofold. One, the trousers sagged, so the length didn’t look right sitting on my brogues and socks. Not chic. Two, I was constantly hiking them up. Not poised.
In fact a lot of my pants seem to fall down. Is it because my stomach is too big? My butt is too small or, most likely, all of the above? Anyway, when I get dressed now, I think to myself, "What would the Tall Skinnies wear? Would Isabella wear that top? Do I look like a 25 year old, and not in a good way, in this?" (Isabella, incidently, was a model and famous actress in Italy. She always looks perfect.) I’m not saying I’m trying to imitate their styles or wear exactly what they wear. I still know my own taste and limitations. Things that look good on them wouldn’t necessarily look good on me, and visa versa. BUT, it is a matter of dressing my age and role at this point, as I think they do very well. And still caring about my appearance. Fashion has always been extremely important to me and not something I want to lose sight of, even though I no longer have countless hours to put outfits together and accessorize.
So. I need to shop. I need to shop smart and I need to not spend a fortune. No frivolous purchases. Only items that work together that are simple, sophisticated, but still with a bit of fun and me thrown in. Last week I decided to check out the sales at Westfield Shopping Center and hit as many stores as possible after dropping Izzy at school. Urban Outfitters was first on my list. I used to love shopping there, as in London Urban Outfitters carries brands like A.P.C. and See By Chloe. As soon as I walked in, however, I was immediately put off by the loud pounding music. I mean it was 1:30 in the afternoon, and I felt like I was in a club in Ibiza. And as this wave of irritation rushed through me I thought to myself, "Uh oh. Could I, maybe, not be this store’s target market anymore?"
Even the brands I used to shop there, aren’t really me anymore. After a quick once over and an actual physical reaction/allergy attack, I ran out into the mall sneezing and gasping for air and light. Every store was another disaster. Either too young or too old. At one point, in desperation, I even went into TopShop and tried on a few items. Let’s just say things like hips and poise were not necessarily the designer’s top priority.
I know what you’re thinking. First world problems right? Maybe so. And of course, I have things to wear and not everyone can look perfect all the time. (Except for Italian movie stars). But in more general terms, I do think when moms come out of the new-baby haze, it can be a difficult time. Figuring out who we are as individuals again. We aren’t just moms, solely around to look after other people. Maybe we’ve changed and maybe we need help remembering what was important to us before we had kids. Where do we fit? How do we present ourselves and want to be perceived—whether it’s through clothes or our Facebook profile (you know, the really important stuff) it can be a tricky time.
As for me, my better wardrobe quest continues. So stay tuned!
My mister and me—worked out in the end!